Monday, 3 December 2012

Joe Black

Name: Joe Black


Where: Brighton, UK.

ED: I've known Joe for a long time now through the Portsmouth "scene", and despite cabaret not being my thing I've always been a fan of Joe's larger-than-life act. I'd wanted to work on something with him for a while, and last year I was lucky enough to produce a music video for his song 'Sick Love Sick Love Song'. For the same reasons I was also pleased he just emailed me out the blue with this incident...

Joe Black here. Performer of inappropriate musical material, singer of dark comedy songs and wearer of much makeup.

Well… Looking back, I've come across many a promoter lunatic in my time.
The one that comes to mind straight away is Brighton… Oh… Oh Brighton.

I was contacted via Myspace to support a touring Rockabilly band. Odd mix? Yes, though he seems to know what he's doing? He wouldn't put me into an odd or possibly dangerous situation would he? Oh how wrong I was to assume.

I don't remember much of the day or the soundcheck for that matter. HOWEVER, what I do remember is dodging a bottle or two and playing to a grand total of about 10 very very angry skinhead types in a basement somewhere in Brighton.

"You'll be fine! the band is theatrical as well!" - The famous last words from the promoter just before I went on.

Other than the show being incredibly uncomfortable, the aftermath of the show was possibly the worst part of it...

We had agreed a certain fee. As you do when booking a show. As soon as the headline band had finished I went off to find Mr. Promoter…

Nowhere to be seen…

Some time passes…

Still nowhere to be seen…

Then suddenly out of nowhere the door to the venue office swings open. The promotor comes charging out and screaming (imagine a goth charging into battle), picks up the nearest (and rather large) TABLE (NOT a chair... a TABLE) and launches it at the office.

*Some smashing* 

*Pin drop silence*

What do you do in this situation ladies and gentlemen? Get the fuck out of there. Do you stop to get your money? Well, you need what you're promised right?

With the promotor gone I suppose you need to talk to the venue owner seeing as he has the cash. You can only assume that a table being launched at him this means there has been some disagreement.

After standing there awkwardly listening to the frontman of the band telling the venue owner how much they demand per show for a good 20 minutes I'm finally given my moment to get what i was promised….

I'm handed £15 and told "You're lucky you're getting that. Now fuck off."

I didn't get my fee, but I got to leave… and thats the important thing in these sort of situations.

So the next time a promotor emails you and says "I think you'd work well with this band!", trust your gut instinct and tell them "NO… NO... NO THANK YOU... NO." if you think it's likely to become some kind of wild west brawl.

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